Cap and Trade

Dinner

I few months back a friend shared who she would have dinner with if she could invite anyone. These three were among her choices. (I was not)
I can't imagine three people that I would not want to invite more.
Not that I don't greatly appreciate some of the things some of these people have done, I just don't think they'd make for good dinner guests.

I would invite Shopping Penguin.....and maybe Dug.

Shopping penguin!

I didn't know it was possible to fall in love so quickly and so completely. But here this video is, having taken full possession of my heart.



Thank you Kristin Tobler.
My life is sufficiently brightened today.
(I also read what came before this on your post and found it incredibly refreshing, but to say that it was then overshadowed by this video would be an understatement.)

Miracles

If I had to describe how I'm feeling right now I'd only need one word: Victory. Yes victory. I feel like that plucky little bunch of amateurs that showed the unbelievers of this world that they didn't care what they were saying and that they'd show them, and the whole world for that matter, where they could stick their opinions...and they'd show them on the ice in the lilliputian town of Lake Placid.

I remember siting in front of the old Magnavox, rabbit ears covered in tinfoil, saying to Lydia, who was seated next to me, "Ain't gonna happen. No way these untested youngsters have the heart and gumption to stand against the mighty Soviet juggernaut." Word for word that's what I said. Boy did they show me.

"Do you believe in miracles Lydia....YES!!" I coined that. I said it first. Verbatim.

Sure someone else got credit for saying it, but this was bigger than me and my eloquence. America needed this win. Hell, I needed this win.
To sum it up, I feel victory.

Dinner Out

True story:
So I'm in one of those fancy sit-down restaurants, you know cloth napkins and what have you. Not our usual fare, but we're classy and down with that kind of crap.
Well the first course comes (I told you this place was classy) and its a salad. Now I love salads but this thing had cheese on it. Cheese! Well this is obviously an outrage. So I tell the waiter that, "This is an outrage! Bring me another and you don't wanna know what'll happen if there is so much as one shred of cheese on it!"
Well of course, that didn't sit well with Lydia, "Dear, you're making a scene."
Oh right Lydia, I'm the one making a scene. There's cheese on my salad and I'm the one making a scene?!
"Dear please," Lydia mutters under her breath, trying to hide her face, "You're acting like an animal. Please just let it go."
I'm an animal now am I? Well an animal wouldn't stand for this and it sure as heck can't handle cheese on its salad, cause certain monkeys are lactose intolerant, I'm pretty sure I read that somewhere or saw it on some TV show.
Lydia keeps talking but I can't understand her, cause I'm a lactose intolerant monkey now (or at least that's what Lydia wants, so I oblige) and monkeys can't understand English.
Well some can understand sign language. (Now I know I read that somewhere!)
So I'm trying to communicate with Lydia using some crude form of monkey sign language but its not working and I can tell Lydia is getting frustrated (even lactose intolerant monkeys can understand human facial cues.)
I'm still pretty hungry at this point (boy I was looking forward to that salad), so I try to sign for a banana, cause that's what monkeys eat, plus bananas are high in potassium. (Potassium is 'K' on the periodic table right? There's not even a 'K' in 'Potassium', I mean, what's that all about?)
I'm signing for a banana using my monkey sign language and I guess a few of the more sensitive patrons thought my 'banana' sign was a tad bit crude and offensive.
So now the whole place is pretty much in an uproar, Lydia grabs my arm and hisses through her teeth, "I am so embarrassed. We're leaving now." Well, being a monkey I still couldn't understand her, but she had bared her teeth, which I interpreted as a sign of aggression and I guess I just lost it.
With all of the other patrons in a state of panic there was no calming me down. I was jumping on tables, throwing things, cursing at the top of my monkey lungs, and roaring like a lion (amidst the chaos of the restaurant I may have forgotten exactly what animal Lydia had told me I was) So you see your honor, I can hardly be blamed for all the damages.